Valentine’s Day is often centered around spreading love to those in your life, whether that’s your spouse, your best friends, your children or even your pets. But what about self-love? Self-love is something that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember and having stoma surgery twice in 13 months has definitely not helped this situation. So, this blog is as much for me as for whoever is reading it.
So how do you build self-love after stoma surgery?
Firstly, recognise your strength. Anyone who has been through stoma surgery has a level of strength, both physically and emotionally, that should never be underestimated. Surgery of any kind is a major event, and adapting to life with a stoma comes with its own set of challenges. Whether your surgery was planned or an emergency, you’ve made it through something incredibly difficult, and that alone is proof of your resilience.
Switch your mindset (listen to me, I’m nearly two years down the line and I’m far from this!) It’s easy to focus on what has changed (guilty) but what if you viewed your stoma as something that has given you a second chance? Instead of seeing it as something negative, try to shift your mindset and acknowledge what it allows you to do. Your stoma is not a flaw; it’s a mark of survival.
The wins… big and small. This is one I do live by. I celebrate every win I can. Whether it’s driving for the first time, staying out of the house for more than two hours or managing to go for a coffee with your bestie. Give yourself credit for the things you accomplish, no matter how small they may seem. Every step forward is worth celebrating.
And most importantly, only speak to yourself how you would speak to others, you wouldn’t tell your friend she looks like crap, like she needs to lose or gain weight, you wouldn’t say her hair was gross and she looked like she hadn’t slept for a week… so don’t say it to yourself. Treat yourself with the kindness that you treat others. And always remember, your stoma does not define you. You are still you. Strong, worthy, and more than enough.
Happy Valentine’s Day, whatever that means for you this year.
Love,
Nikki ❤️
@jonesvscrohns
