Here I am, living a life which I once thought would be a living nightmare. Younger me genuinely used to believe that having a stoma was the worse possible outcome. Now I realise that it is the best thing to ever happen to me…
What’s my story?
In summer 2016, I started to notice an unusual amount of mucus in my poo. I didn’t take too much notice and assumed it was something that would go away by itself. By September, this mucus had turned to blood. In October, after several tests, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis.
At first, I was completely naive to this condition. I certainly had no idea how it would impact my life this dramatically.
For five years, I battled with the disease. Starting on tablets, steroids, injections and infusions. At one stage, I was told I was entering remission.
Until December 2021, when I had the worst flare of my life. I was admitted to hospital, where for 2 weeks I trialled different medications in the aim to control the flare. After 2 weeks of no luck, I was transported to a different hospital – to be closer to surgeons.
Time was running out, nothing was working and I was becoming weaker and weaker. Then one evening, I was brought into a small room, where my parents, my consultant and a surgeon were waiting for me. I was told that unless I had stoma surgery the next morning, it was likely I wasn’t going to leave the hospital alive. The next morning I was taken to theatre and I woke up with a stoma bag.
My life was over. How was I ever going to be able to live a normal life with a stoma bag? How was anyone ever going to love me again? How would I ever love myself again?
For 6 months, I was a fraction of my former self. I told think I went a couple of hours without crying. I felt broken and couldn’t ever imagine how I would feel happy again. But over time, the sadness faded. I couldn’t believe how healthy I felt, and I felt so grateful for a second chance at life.
I couldn’t quite let go of the despair and loneliness I felt in hospital – I don’t think I ever will. I didn’t want anyone else to feel that way, so I started my page. I shared my story online, in the hopes of breaking stigmas and inspiring others. I wanted to make the pathway easier for others facing the journey. I wanted to help build a positive community.
That’s when I was asked to join Respond’s community as an ambassador – YES YES YES!!!
What an honor to be part of such an amazing team, making such an amazing difference! I am so excited for my future with Respond. A future full of support, friendship and continued awareness! Watch this space!
