Before going wedding shopping, I was really emotional. I had always had an idea of what I wanted my wedding dress to look like, but my stoma bag had changed it for me. I now had something else to consider. It felt like it was going to be a task to find anything I liked that covered my stoma and was comfortable.
Finding the dress
It wasn’t until I was actually wedding dress shopping that all of my fears slipped away. When trying on dresses, I was so in the moment that my stoma bag wasn’t really a consideration. I was more focused on finding a dress that I felt beautiful in. I accidentally wore a black stoma bag the day I went to try on dresses, but this was actually really helpful! Most wedding dresses completely covered it anyway – but it allowed me to see where my stoma bag was sitting so I could have an idea of how I would feel on the day.
When I found my dress, I knew it was the one. I felt amazing in it. It suited the venue and vibe. Oh, and my stoma was comfortable in it too!
I always thought that my stoma would take over everything in my life, but as time has gone on, it just kind of fits in. It’s not my main focus all the time. Which I love.
Preparation
I found wedding planning pretty stressful. I was extremely organised, but in the four months prior, the endless emails and payments were very overwhelming. Naturally, my stoma took a back seat. It wasn’t until 10 days before the wedding that I realised I didn’t actually have enough stoma bags in the right colour. Thank goodness for Respond’s amazing service – my stresses were gone when a box of fresh bags arrived a couple of days later.
I packed my stoma supplies, just like I would if I were going on holiday, and we headed off to get married.
The day before the wedding, we headed to the venue to drop off some decorations etc. I had packed an ’emergency supply’ and dropped it off at this time. I didn’t want to worry about anything on my wedding day, especially stoma supplies, so I made sure that was covered the day before.
The morning of, at the wake up call of 5am, I changed my bag. There is no better feeling than having a fresh bag on and I wanted the reassurance and confidence that it was a fresh, sticky fit. As I change my stoma bag every other day, I definitely did not want to wake up on the morning after the wedding and face a bag change. So I made sure everything was done and then there was nothing to worry about.
Managing my stoma throughout the day
I feel like it would be very easy to overthink managing your stoma bag on one of the most important days of your life. But why? I manage my stoma bag perfectly fine on every other day, so why would today be different?
I always like my bag to be empty – I really don’t like the feeling of it when it is full. So when I arrived at the venue, minutes before getting married, I emptied my stoma bag. I know what you are thinking, how on earth did I manage it in a wedding dress?
My bridesmaids are amazing, they are my bestest friends who would do anything for me. So on my wedding day, I sat on the toilet front ways and the girls held my dress up. It was seamless – no issues. Quick empty and a wee and I was off enjoying myself again. This is how I did it all day. I actually only think I emptied three times throughout the day. My stoma bag was honestly the least of my worries. I was far too busy enjoying myself to worry about it. I’m so glad that I had this mindset. I control my stoma, my stoma does not control me.
Advice
My advice for anyone worrying about managing their stoma on their wedding day is – don’t over think it. You manage your stoma bag every day, just do as you normally would. Control the things you can, but do not worry about what is out of your control.
And remember. Take everything in, enjoy yourself and have fun! It was the best day of my entire life and I wish I could relive it all again.
