In short, 100% yes! Both physically and mentally, what you have been through and what you are going through is life changing, challenging and very new.
From no longer going to the toilet the way you have done all your life to this point to having this new adjustment, a bag attached to your abdomen 24/7 – there is so much to get your head around! Ordering your new supplies that you now depend on, having somewhere to store these supplies correctly, changing your bag, finding the correct products that suit you, finding your way with clothing etc. There is so much to think about and worry about, not only in the early stages, but it feels like you overcome one set of initial problems and stressors and then move on to another set.
I have been there through all the stages and struggled and worried throughout but now things I would have struggled with and worried about are no longer an issue. So please, if you are feeling like things will never get easier or better, trust me, they do.
You really just have to find your way and routine with your stoma. Take things one day at a time. Do not beat yourself up for making mistakes with your bag changes. I used to have a lot of anxiety on bag change day as I was so afraid to change the bag, now I do it without even thinking! Even just cutting to the correct ring size I really struggled with but getting the bags pre-cut once my stoma had settled in size was amazing.
I found having all my products laid out in front of me on a surface that gave me enough space to lift things up and place them back down really worked for me at the beginning. I could see everything I needed and it was all within hands reach.
Leaving the house really scared me. I was so afraid that I was going to have a leak and wouldn’t know what to do. It took a lot of trust in my products and confidence building but going out on a few short journeys got me to a place that I felt more confident to leave home.
Travelling on holidays, exercising, swimming, intimacy and family days out all scared me. But I found by pushing myself, when I felt up to it, to just go and try it out help me become more confident to get back to the things I loved doing.
Reaching out to others that were in a similar situation to me also really helped. Doctors and nurses can give you all the medical advice in the world but having someone who has walked in your shoes and knowing how it feels to have such a big adjustment was so important in my journey to recovery.
Give yourself time to take in this new adjustment. Do things when you are ready and not because someone else is doing it or telling you to do so. You will always have bad days even when you get past the initial stage and you may never say you accept your stoma, and that is totally fine, but as long as you are content and can get back to normal life learning to live with your new adjustment is the main thing.
