Having stoma surgery is life-changing, and for many, including myself, life-saving.
I’ll briefly set the scene and give you the background info. My stoma, ‘Stacey’, was formed in 2011, when I was 19 years old. I needed her due to severe Crohn’s disease (a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)) and due to a large, benign tumour on my colon, the size of a watermelon. Surgeons didn’t find this until they operated. If surgeons had left things even a few hours, I was told I wouldn’t be here, so she literally saved my life.
Confidence can be something we all struggle with, and that can be even before stoma surgery. So when we go through such a big change, both physically and mentally, it’s no surprise that we may feel like our confidence has been knocked. After stoma surgery, you’ve got to get used to a new routine, a new hole in your body and the medical supplies to help you care for it and cover it, how you feel in your clothes, the foods you eat, and more. But the good news is, bit by bit, you will get there.
In this blog post, I’m going to look into rebuilding confidence after stoma surgery and share some things that I’ve found useful so far on my journey with Stacey stoma.
Please note that this is with regards to my experiences living with an ileostomy and using a one-piece, drainable ostomy bag. Let’s get started.
Your stoma nurse
If you have a stoma nurse, they can really help you get to grips with stoma life, especially in the first few days after surgery with things like changing your bag.
I have a stoma nurse who I can reach out to now, over 14 years after my surgery, and she’s always willing to help.
It’s often a marathon, not a sprint
As frustrating as it can be during recovery from major surgery, it’s so important to remember that your body has been through so much trauma. It’s going to take time to find the new ‘you’ with your new little bag buddy, or feel anything like the person you did before the surgery, and that’s normal.
For me, I can’t remember a time when I felt ‘normal’ in the time before stoma surgery, so confidence was something I threw myself into, adjusting to life after stoma surgery. But it did still take a lot of time, and, like many people after stoma surgery, I still get my days now where I don’t feel confident.
Opening up to others who have had ostomy surgery as well as listening to my body and being gentle with myself on the hard days really helps.
Communication is key
Even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing, it’s important to open up to your loved ones, or to tell them that you don’t feel confident and may need a bit of extra patience and help. Those who matter to you will often be willing to do what they can to help you in your journey, whether that’s sitting and watching a film together, talking about how you feel, or doing something completely unrelated.
New routines and taking notes
Having a new daily routine can feel overwhelming. You’ve suddenly got to remember to empty your bag, and change your bag (depending on how often you change). But for myself, and many others, there comes a time where anything to do with your ostomy is just part of your daily routine, like brushing your teeth.
Patience with yourself is important. You may even want to take notes so you can break things down. Having an area to store your ostomy supplies that is within reach and in a convenient place (i.e. in your bedroom) can make your routine easier.
It’s your journey
It’s vital to remember that it’s your journey, not anyone else’s. No two people are the same and it’s crucial to take things at your own pace, to avoid injury through rushing recovery, to give your body a chance to rest after such major surgery and to give yourself time to process your thoughts.
You’re not alone and there are so many people out there that will be able to empathise and be happy to support you, stoma or no stoma.
It’s so important to speak to your stoma nurse or a healthcare professional if you are worried or concerned about anything.
Having a stoma is different for everyone, but it is definitely possible to find confidence with it, even if you don’t feel it at the time you are reading this.
For so many, including myself, having an ostomy wasn’t the end. It was just the beginning.
For more ostomy life insights, including my own journey with confidence, you can message me and follow me on my stoma journey on Instagram: @ibdwarriorprincess
