Stoma surgery is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Recovery was a long, difficult journey. Looking back, I don’t give myself enough credit for how well I coped. If I were to go through it all again, here’s what I’d do…
Physical recovery
Believe it or not, physical recovery was the easiest for me. I mean I definitely didn’t think this at the time but looking back, I physically recovered well. My mum wrapped me up in bubble wrap – not literally, but she didn’t let me do anything! Which, at times was very, very annoying. But looking back, my body was able to recover slowly and heal quicker as I wasn’t pushing it too much. As time passed, slowly, I was able to sit up on my own, walk longer distances and I was even able to start swimming. Swimming was amazing for my recovery journey as it helped me build muscle without straining, but also helped me build confidence in my stoma. Changing into my swimming costume with other woman around was really daunting at first, but after a couple of weeks it became normal. This is my new body, look what it can do!
Managing pain and discomfort
This was a funny one for me. I don’t often like taking tablets/medication, which is ironic for someone who has a chronic illness. But I cannot stress the importance of keeping up with painkillers. Recovery is a long, hard journey, don’t make it even harder for yourself by being in pain. I also regularly checked in with my consultant and gave him measurements of my pain on a scale to 10. This was helpful as it reassured me that my level of pain was normal for that stage in recovery.
Adjusting to life with a stoma
This seemed like the impossible but honestly now, I cannot believe that I am able to live each day without really thinking about my stoma too much. My biggest piece of advice is to make plans. Get out the house, go to a cafe, use the public toilets. It’s easy to hide away in the house and feel sorry for yourself, it’s brave to get out and start living again. The more I left the house, the more confident I became handling my stoma. Did I have accidents? Yes! Was I in TK Maxx with poo dripping down my leg? Yes! But I’ve learnt from those mistakes and I’ve grown. A positive mindset is hard to achieve when you are at your lowest, but I promise you it will be that positive mindset that saves you.
Looking after your mental wellbeing
My mum always told me: a problem shared is a problem halved. It is not healthy to keep all your emotions bottled up inside. So, to look after my mental well-being, I shared how I was feeling. The lowest of lows, to big achievements. I have such an amazing network of people around me who were always there to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. But my mental health really improved when I shared my story online. Yes, I had weird forms of hate, but I also connected with people who had been through the same thing. People who understood how I was feeling and who offered advice and guidance. So don’t be afraid to reach out. The world can be a scary place, but there is also a lot of kindness when you look for it.
Milestones and achievements
For me, milestones have been the hardest parts. I never thought I would live in my first home with a stoma. I never thought I would get engaged with a stoma. Next week I’m getting married and I have a stoma! It’s hard because I never wanted this, but I always remind myself that I wouldn’t be here without it. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy this amazing life if it wasn’t for my stoma. So yes, some days it sucks but it’s the reason you are here to enjoy the good days.
You are whatever you want to be. You are how you talk to yourself. You are the goals you set. You are the small achievements you celebrate. Be kind to yourself.
