Valentine’s Day used to be about roses, chocolates, and waiting for someone else to make me feel loved. But after my ostomy surgery, I realised love had to start within.
The first time I looked in the mirror post-surgery (and post-baby), I barely recognised myself. I wanted to be grateful that my body had survived, that this surgery had given me another chance. But all I could see was what had changed. I felt different, uncomfortable. I wondered if I would ever feel me again.
At first, I avoided looking too long in the mirror. I hid behind oversized clothes, convinced everyone could see or hear my stoma. I overthought every interaction, worried about what people would think and if they could see or hear it!
But somewhere along the way, something shifted. Maybe it was the moment I met my partner, who loved me for me, I forgot about my insecurities. Or maybe it was the small, quiet moments standing in the shower, resting my hands over my stoma, reminding myself, this is my body, and I will learn to love it.
It wasn’t an overnight change. Learning to love yourself after surgery is uncomfortable, and full of setbacks. But I started showing up for myself in small ways… wearing clothes that made me feel good, speaking to myself with kindness, surrounding myself with people who reminded me I was still me. I stopped hiding and started being myself.
And somewhere along the way, I realised I am still me. I am not broken. My stoma doesn’t take away from who I am, it’s just part of my story. And this body, the one I used to struggle to accept, is strong. Resilient. Beautiful.
So this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re celebrating with a partner, with friends, or on your own, take a moment to appreciate you. You have survived. You are healing. You are worthy of love especially from yourself.
If you’re on this journey too, know that you’re not alone.
Thanks for reading,
Ange x
@thebaglife_
