I remember waking up after surgery in an empty room, surrounded by machines and tangled in a mess of tubes and wires. The constant noise of the machines was enough to drive anyone crazy. The discomfort of lying on my back for months was intense, but not as intense as the pain from the surgery.
When I looked under the covers and lifted my hospital gown, I saw large metal staples running in a perfect vertical line, holding my entire abdomen together. To the right of the staples was a brown bag attached to my abdomen, which I hadn’t realised back then, that it had saved my life.
The change this inconsequential stoma bag had affected every part of my routine. Simple things like getting dressed or leaving the house felt overwhelming. My confidence was at an all-time low, and I withdrew from social situations. I worried about how others would perceive me, but more than that, I struggled with how I saw myself. I constantly worried about the noise it created and about the timing of when my stoma would erupt. It was easy to let negative thoughts take over, and there were moments when I felt like I’d lost control of my life.
But as time went on, I realised I had a choice: I could let this define me, or I could redefine myself. I started focusing on small victories – learning how to manage my stoma, finding clothes that made me feel good, and building a new routine. Therapy became a lifeline, giving me a safe space to process my emotions and challenge the unkind thoughts I had about myself. I also leaned on my support system: friends, family, and online communities of people who truly understood what I was going through. Their encouragement reminded me I wasn’t alone.
Practising gratitude became another powerful tool. I began journaling daily, writing down three things I was thankful for. Some days, it was as simple as a sunny morning or a kind word from a stranger. Over time, this practice shifted my mindset, helping me focus on what I could control and the positives in my life.
Today, I continue to prioritise my mental well-being. I’ve learned the importance of self-compassion – allowing myself to feel tough emotions without judgement. Exercise, meditation, and creative outlets like writing have become part of my routine, helping me stay grounded. I’ve also embraced the idea that healing isn’t linear. There are still hard days, but I remind myself of how far I’ve come.
To anyone going through stoma surgery or a similar life change, know this: it’s okay to feel scared, angry, or lost. Give yourself grace as you navigate this new chapter. Seek support, whether it’s from loved ones, professionals, or online communities. Celebrate the small wins, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are so much stronger than you realise, and this experience doesn’t diminish your worth – it’s a testament to your resilience.
This Mental Health Awareness Week, I hope my story reminds you that even in the face of life’s challenges, growth is possible. You can adapt, you can heal, and you can thrive.
