Telling others about your stoma
First off… what you share and don’t share about your stoma is such a personal decision. You might choose to keep this totally personal and not tell anyone, you may choose to let everyone know and you may choose a select few people that you want to tell. Never feel under pressure to give information you don’t want to give.
But if you do want to tell others and just can’t find the words to do so then I have a few tips that may help!
My experience
I didn’t share I had my stoma with anyone outside of my close family until after having my stoma a year. I had a page where I followed others online but I did not have my name on the page so anyone I knew wouldn’t follow it.
When I was ready to share I did this on my platform for a few reasons. I felt by not having to explain individually to people and by not being face to face much easier. Yes I was hiding behind behind a computer screen but this then give me the confidence to go on and be more open. I never felt under any pressure to share. I did this because I wanted to and I felt comfortable doing so.
Tips for telling others
If this is something you feel you need to do because of work reasons then first off all ask to speak to your line manager, hr manager or your next in line privately. They have a duty of care to ensure you are in a safe working environment and that your information is confidential. For friends and work colleagues I find the best policy is just to be honest. Explain that you have a stoma, you don’t need to explain why or exactly what it is and as time goes on and you become more confident you can bring it up and let them ask questions or offer more information.
Telling friends can be tough but it can make things easier for you not having to make up excuses or trying to hide your stoma bag in certain situations. Going on holidays or swimming. Being open with friends will help the both of you feel more comfortable and open to conversation around this but again it’s personal choice what you choose to share.
If you don’t feel comfortable about doing this face to face you can send a message and open the conversation that way as this can be easier.
Sharing this information is your choice. People only need to know what you feel comfortable sharing. Never feel under pressure to share more than you want because you see others doing it but on the other hand don’t feel embarrassed to share as your stoma bag is a part of you that may have saved your life and you should never feel embarrassed about that.